last hour
by Seena58
Summary: Her world had been broken once, but with them she knew she could move forward. She had to, as it was the only choice left. ::One shot, Natsuki centric, spoilers::


**Disclaimer: **I make no profit out of this. It is fanfiction.

**Warnings:** End game spoilers; possible run-on sentences/grammatical issues and various other errors; OOC?

**A/N:** Natsuki-centric piece. Due to not having an exact timeline for FORT members and their conditions for joining (save Atsuki's, and even then…) I sort of made up what I believed to be the most likely situation. Apologies if there is any in-game/canon material that might prove me otherwise.

(Written and posted at livejournal back in April.)

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_last hour_**  
beginning**

The darkness in the heart of every human: that was what Silent targeted and influenced. Not quite mind control, their existence hidden from society, causing destruction as their hosts went insane with their own thoughts. Whispering, always whispering in the corners of their mind, they were never quiet.

Each and every moment, once affected – slowly, _oh so slowly _– they succumbed, broke apart and went mad. And every time it happened, no one knew how to stop it, so the cycle continued.

Infection. Madness. Death (whether their own, or someone else's, mattered little).

And every time, _every single time_ it happened, no one knew the true reason, and blamed the individual instead. Because it was easier that way, more clear cut, although still tragic, and then they would pick up the broken pieces of their lives and move on. Move on and struggle to put it past them, because it was over; it had nothing to do with them anymore.

Even so, without being seen, Silent continued to exist. It thrived, because it was created by humans, their emotions, their thoughts. Always their thoughts, because that was the way humans were.

The parasite that enveloped an individual's Shinen and caused more pain to those already struggling to live, even if they were unaware of it.

Natsuki wondered why it had to be that way.

The artificial lights gleamed from the ceiling, the steel and glass that reinforced the building: the lack of smell, the lack of _life_.

That was what FORT was like to her. Day in and day out, over and over again, she had to sit there and look over their most recent location. Searching, _forever searching_, for the strongest thoughts and emotions that would give them clues. To help _him_.

The blue-haired girl closed her eyes and sighed, stretching to ease her muscles, before collapsing back on her bed. Another long day had passed, and Nola had finally allowed her to leave the terminal – it was temporary, always was, because she was trapped in that _cage,_ and there was no escape_._

Once, just once, she wanted to be able to leave FORT and walk down the streets, mingling with the crowds and taking it all in, without needing an excuse.

Even now, she could still remember clasping her mother's hand and talking happily about whatever came to mind; the sights, the sounds, the smells were all so real and overwhelming and beautiful. She used to love those trips with mother (father was usually too busy, but those times were cherished as well).

But it didn't last forever, and for the longest time, she remembered nothing more; just darkness and fear all around her.

Silent.

_Mother… father… because I was selfish… _It was her fault, was it not? _But they wouldn't want this. Not like this…_ Her thoughts were fuzzy at best, intermingling with memories (_of blood and fear and oh god no… no no no no no!_) and her own deep rooted fear, but her parents had been there. They were the light she had to reach, so she did.

And because of that, she managed to find her way out of the darkness.

She woke up to meet unfamiliar faces, gabbling things she cared little of, because they were dead, but she was alive, and why? _Why?_

So when Ray spoke to her, about how she could stop others from getting hurt the way she had, it had been hard to swallow. _A parasite called Silent killed them. By influencing the people around you… _She had survived, she could help.

At that time, Natsuki had been unable to answer. The scars were still too raw for her, and she was young; young and scared and small. So small and insignificant – what could she do?

During that time she had done a lot of crying. In that little room, surrounded by steel and lights pretending to be the sun: hunched over, crying and crying, hurting and wanting to stop but unable to – _it hurt, it hurt, it hurt…_

Somewhere along the line, Nola came into her life.

Natsuki could no longer remember, mind too clouded by her own pain to notice, but one day someone was there, next to her. And then they were holding her, so tightly, as if they wanted to take her pain away. To help, even just a little, and a soft voice telling her, over and over again;

"It's alright. It's alright. It's not your fault."

But it was, wasn't it? The child back then wanted to struggle and thrash out at the stranger, but was too tired to do so. But then those words were spoken, words that made her pause, even if it was just for a moment.

"It's alright to cry."

So she did.

Not like those other times, when she had been alone – sobbing, short periods of pain and suffering, but keeping it in, because the adults were busy, and she didn't want to be abandoned – and she felt as if her heart was being torn apart. She clung onto the stranger who said nothing more but held her tighter, as if to protect them both, and she cried and screamed until, bit by bit, it became easier to open her eyes and see the world before her.

**middle**

A month later, Nola accompanied her to the Venefskuja's graves. Natsuki had insisted, and Ray had allowed it: her first and last time to see them, before she became a permanent resident of FORT.

Her ability to see the emotions of others from afar, coupled with the determination to eradicate Silent proved her to be a formidable telepath, even at her young age. At the price of freedom, she could help, because no one else was able to.

Yet, some part of it remained empty. Missions piled up, one after another, and they couldn't rush the process – the consequences were fatal, as previous cases had already proven. Liu Yee was nothing more than a pain in the neck, and Nola was almost unbearable when they were working.

If it hadn't been for one little spark in her life, Natsuki would have left (no, it didn't matter she was still nothing more than a child, because the place drove her mad). Atsuki Saijo was different, and even without the use of her power she could see it.

Not just in his use of ∑ though, although it was true those with the potential were incredibly rare. Even when she thought about it now, the blue-haired teen could not find the right words to describe that part of him; yes, he was many things (handsome, intelligent, polite) but it wasn't just _that_.

When it came to people, he was amazing. It wasn't that he had overly good social skills, per say, and he didn't talk to _everyone_, but those he did… the kindness, the warmth…

The willingness to listen, _really listen to what was being said_, was what placed him above all others.

Natsuki had no idea about Atsuki's past, or how he had become a member of FORT (she hadn't even known of his existence until she had officially joined) but chose not to pursue such topics. She had felt the pain firsthand, and had no wish to talk of it any more than necessary.

Besides, she knew that if he ever wanted to tell her about it, he would do so in time.

Even so, a small part of her worried and it paced the corners of her mind; wondering, worrying, never stopping when he left FORT to do missions. She knew how ∑ worked, what it did, and the price they paid for it: but Atsuki never seemed to lose his light, no matter how many minds he had to read – no matter how many Silent perished under his hand.

Without him, Natsuki was certain her own soul would have dimmed in time, and the thought of becoming someone like Liu Yee repulsed her. But because Atsuki was there, she could accept it. The tainting of the soul for what they believed in.

His warmth was real – _whenever they managed to cross paths, she always held his hand, never wanting to let go_ – and so, too, were his smiles because he understood. And although she was trapped in FORT, he was allowed to walk around freely, and with it the memories he would later share with her.

It would never be the same as going out herself, but she was thankful for it; for him and the light he had given her.

She loved Atsuki.

Although it may have begun as a young girl's crush, Natsuki had felt the emotions inside her tilt over time, ever so slightly, until it became clear that the warmth in her was very real. It was so different from her love-hate relationship with Nola, or the general distance she kept from Liu Yee and the other adults within the facility; even though she was only thirteen, she knew.

She also accepted the fact that, in time, many people would love Atsuki the same way she did. Because that was who he was, and it was impossible _not_ to warm up to him, to care for him.

Whether the love was platonic or romantic, it didn't matter, because love was like that, and Natsuki loathed the fact that, because of what they were, neither could stay in one place permanently.

The Kisaragi incident was living proof.

Golden eyes glanced up at the ceiling – at the artificial lighting that tried so hard to be the sun she craved – and turned the events over in her mind. Time and again, they would disappear once Silent had been eradicated.

Kisaragi had proven to be a different case all together, and thus Atsuki's stay had been longer than any had anticipated. In those few moments she had been able to get away from scanning the city and Atsuki was not occupied, they had spoken about the people he had met and the places he had been to.

It was a rare occurrence, as over time his descriptions of the people around him became warmer, more affectionate; because that was how people were, even as Silent flitted about in the shadows. They were a resilient race, after all, and even though they both knew no one would remember him once it was over…

Natsuki could still remember what happened one day after he and Liu Yee had returned to headquarters.

Swamped with paperwork, Natsuki had watched Atsuki from the corner of the desk, curled up in one of the more comfortable chairs in FORT. His pen moved across the paper as he scowled down at the fine print. In the silence, they remained that way, the scratching of the pen the only source of noise.

Then it was unexpectedly broken.

An unfamiliar ring tone shattered the silence, causing the blue-haired teen to slip off her chair in shock and the pen in Atsuki's hand jerked unexpectedly, blotting the paper before him. As she picked herself off the floor, the tone was cut off sharply and she watched as he stared down the screen of his mobile.

It had been so sudden. Not unpleasant, but highly unexpected, because who could call him now? Not only that, but for as long as she'd known him, the grey-haired teen had never really played around with ring tones (it had taken her so long to convince him to use one of her own, after all).

Then she saw his smile, and felt the swirling emotions; happiness, sadness, longing… and caring, even as he made a silent promise. Although she couldn't see what had been written to him, or who it was from, she could guess and it wasn't hard – their last place had been different, if not just a plain hassle, yet it had taken a special place in her loved one's heart.

**end**

Even now, Natsuki could only imagine what he was thinking, what he saw through those eyes, but it didn't really matter all that much to her. It was better this way, because reading minds was more a curse than a blessing.

Silent still remained, influencing the minds and hearts of people; the silent killer of their own sanity. FORT would continue to do what it could to lessen the problem, in hopes of getting rid of it completely someday.

And she, along with Atsuki, would continue to aid them, because that was the least they could do; to prevent the pain inflicted upon them, as no one deserved such a fate. Even if it meant being locked in this place, where nothing seemed to truly live, and reality was broken so many times, she could withstand it for as long as he asked it of her.

Because when Atsuki finally chose to leave FORT, she would be there next to him. (She would miss Nola, true, and probably Liu Yee as well, loathe she was to admit it.) Then, even if the chance was slim, they would move in their own direction, making their own choices.

And Natsuki was positive the first place they would go to would be Kisaragi city.


End file.
